win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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