Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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