a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
