Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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