I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
