College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize