I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
