I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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