Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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