So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
