I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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