She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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