He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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