i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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