and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
