oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm really busy with my period
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
