Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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