oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
