Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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