She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
