You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
