It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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