Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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