Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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