I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
