did you get engaged???
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
