I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
