I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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