Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
did i walk over a car last night?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
