only if we run a train.
done.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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