Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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