btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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