the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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