What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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