btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
