We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
