Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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