I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
