New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
