I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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