As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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