Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
They took my balls.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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