hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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