I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
