She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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