Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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