perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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