we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
