Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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