Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize