i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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