That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
