Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
