Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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