Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think my fart just growled at me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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