FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
