Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
