he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize