you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
