Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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