Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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