dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You can't special order awesome
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
