So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
