ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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