glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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