I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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