I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize