I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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