So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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