do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
