I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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