im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
