The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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