Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Randomize
