Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
