Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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