Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
