I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
