Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
