Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
wow bdsm is so cute
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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