All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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