he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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