Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
