she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
