Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
