You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
